I’ve noticed something about this country… we have a serious health problem. My wife, Tara Rayburn http://www.thehealthyhabitcoach.com/blog is far more the expert on physical health than me so you need to read her blog for those solutions. But I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about our financial health and there is a startling parallel between physical and fiscal health. The problems are the same, and so are the solutions.

The reason most people have physical problems is bad habits. We eat what feels good at the moment, not necessarily what’s best for us. We don’t exercise/work out. We take medicines that suppress symptoms rather than cure them. And we eat poorly the way those around us do.

It is the same thing with money! We buy what we want when we want it. We don’t put our money to work. We suppress the symptoms of poor finances with credit cards and loans. And we learn finances from friends and family around us rather than from experts.

So, here are some very simple and powerful financially healthy habits and I guarantee, if you apply these you will become financially healthy! [And go to http://www.daveramsey.com. His programs are where I learned this, and helped me get out of debt and build real wealth.]

Here are 11 steps to financial health…

1. Stop spending more than you earn! Simple, right? Uh-uh. We buy what we WANT rather than what we can AFFORD. Right now STOP all unnecessary purchases. Necessary expenses are shelter, food, basic clothing, utilities and gas. Restaurants, movies, TV’s, shopping are NOT necessary.

2. Build an “Emergency Fund” of $1,000 in a simple savings account and don’t touch it. This is purely for emergencies, meaning the car broke down, the pipes ruptured, the kids need medicine, that’s it. And if you use it, build it back before continuing with the plan.

3. Get out of debt. List all your debts lowest to highest, pay the minimum on the all but the smallest debt, and attack the lowest debt with a vengeance! Pay it off. Now attack the next smallest debt with a vengeance. This may take years, but get out of debt!

4. Now, build your emergency fund to 3-6 months expenses.

5. Don’t get derailed with old habits and go BACK into debt. We’re told “buy now, pay later,” “90 days same as cash,” “no payments until 2013,” and crap like that. Do NOT do that. Tear up your credit cards. If you can’t afford it, you can’t have it. Period. Pay cash for your car, as well as everything else.

6. Now, let’s get rich! How? Shhh… ere’s the secret: Spend less than you make, invest the difference. Whoa! That’s hard, eh? Most of us learn finances from our friends and family. Most of them are broke. Can anyone see a problem here? Learn from experts, rich people, people who’ve started with nothing and built a fortune. Go to Dave Ramsey’s “Endorsed Local Provider” for a financial planner and invest in growth stock mutual funds.

7. Work from a budget. List your monthly income and expenses, and tell each dollar where it’s going, on paper before you spend it for real.

8. Quit being normal. Normal is broke. Normal is in debt. Be weird. Live below your means. It’s cool, in a weird way.

9. “Net worth” is simply all your assets minus all your debts, or your financial scorecard. Most people have a negative net worth. Most people will retire with a net worth of $250 – after an entire life of work, that’s it! That sucks. And so will retirement. You can do better. Build your net worth.

10. Give abundantly to others. All truly rich people understand that the biblical principle of tithing, giving 10% of their income to church or charity, is a spiritual truth for anyone. It’s the only place in the bible where God says, “Test me in this, …tithe and see if I don’t fill your storehouses.” When you give without expectation it comes back to you.

11. Finally, GROW UP. Children do what feels good. Adults make a plan and follow it. Self discipline means doing what you need to, when you need to do it, regardless of how you feel about it. Or simply, grow up.

Practice these steps and you will become financially healthy!

It is no doubt easy for me to say “do this, it’ll be great, trust me,” to simply exhort you toward excellence. But that’s like every speaker in the world, isn’t it? Let’s instead take a look at the very predictable results of this decision. I mean, what if you did choose to live a life of excellence? What would that life look like?

First of all, your work is no longer “putting in time.” You exceed expectations in everything. You do whatever it takes to become amazing, to be the best at what you do. You seek feedback and improvement through modeling and learning from those you respect. You have a passion for learning. And, given that time is life, you manage your time well. And best of all, by doing the above your income will ultimately rise accordingly.

That said, you no longer take your finances for granted. You set long term goals, you are frugal, you seek professional financial council, and you operate from a budget and a plan. You take full responsibility for your financial well-being.

Your health – particularly your diet, exercise, and emotional/mental health – is no longer optional or occasional. You have decided to change bad habits, adopt better habits one at a time, and do whatever it takes to get and stay healthy.

Your relationships are now intentional. You strive to become the best spouse, parent, friend, and co-worker you can be. You become the one people rely on, at the same time allowing yourself to rely on others you trust.

Finally, and in every way, you become a servant. All excellent human beings, even those in the spotlight, consider themselves servants of others. It is a divine paradox that when you put others first and serve them, your needs get met in the process, in ways you could never expect.

Richard Bach once wrote, “Here’s a test to see if your purpose in life is over: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” That means there is most definitely a profound, divine and wonderful reason that you are where you are right now, even reading this post. This world needs excellence… your excellence. What you’ll find is that excellence, though seemingly harder at first, is in the long run considerably easier than mediocrity. It is also easier by comparison because of the extraordinary lack of it in this world. Bless yourself and everyone around you with the choice of a lifetime: Choose excellence. Become a Virtuoso! … and stay tuned for more ways to do that at this blog.

For bookings and information go to:
www.MikeRayburn.com
972-571-4295
Follow Mike on Twitter for his “Become a Virtuoso” tweets @mikerayburn.

1. When was the last time you asked a question to which you don’t know the answer? This is often a pitfall of teachers, trainers, and high achievers… we’re so used to asking rhetorical or leading questions in sharing knowledge we neglect our need for never-ending improvement.

2. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

3. What is it about your career (or life) that makes you good, but keeps you from being great? What if you dropped it? [This is hard sometimes for me because I have a funny bit I know works, but I could replace it with something funnier or better]

4. What area of your career have you put off, almost sub-consciously, which you could stand to learn more about, perfect?

5. Are you driving with the breaks on? Are you sure? I teach this in my keynote because I need to remind myself every day to keep the edge, keep moving forward. When you’re good at something it’s easy to get by on talent and ability and forget the value of skill, working it, every day.

In high school I was pretty smart so I could get by without doing homework. I was surprised to find I could mostly do the same for my first year of college. Well, that caught up with me in Music History class. I HAD to do the homework, I didn’t, and I failed the first semester. FAILED! IN MUSIC! I couldn’t believe it. I then resolved (again as I speak about in my keynote) to be the best I could at it, to do whatever it takes. The next semester (second half of music history) I earned a B, but the professor gave me an A for the massive turnaround. The semester after that (repeating the failed semester) I earned an A so solidly I didn’t even have to take the final. Now I try to do whatever it takes to keep the edge, prepare, keep taking chances, even when I think I’m on the right path.

We all need a wake-up call, we need to remember to do what got us there in the first place, to risk, to take chances, to keep moving forward.

My family and I went skiing at Brian Head, UT for a couple of days last week. This was our first time and my kids – 8-yr old Zachary, and 11 -yr old Seneca – LOVED IT! They’re both somewhat speed freaks and just want to tuck and go. My wife has taken two classes, is a bit more cautious but on this trip she truly found her “snow legs,” as it were. I am a decent intermediate level skier and can manage the blue slopes just fine, though on this trip I spent all my time on the beginner slope with the family.

Once the kids got going and were comfortable on the slopes, as always I was itching to try something new, to push myself even on this easier slope. After a while I spotted just the thing: a ski jump! It wasn’t huge, but having never jumped I figured it was just right. Next run, there I was, headed for the jump. I thought through what would likely happen, figured as always I needed to lean forward, and boom! I hit it! I flew for a second, my landing was awkward, then upright, then I fell. But, I got the feel and proceeded to jump a total of 5 times with 2 upright landings. Cool.

The next day, our last, I decided to hit the jump one more time. I hit it just as before but this time for some reason my landing was bad… very bad. I hit, my legs twisted in opposite directions, and crack! Oh, no, I knew it immediately. Something was terribly wrong with my left leg. I could barely get the ski back on let alone coast painfully the rest of the way down the mountain. And it HURT! To cut to the chase I broke my left fibula in two places all the way through, creating three loose pieces of bone at the bottom. Surgery doesn’t appear to be necessary but as I lay here typing I have it iced, elevated, and immobilized in a boot.

So, here’s the point. After mentioning this on my Facebook page one person suggested that maybe I should take fewer chances and have a little more discretion. While this comment was loving and completely well-meaning, it was dead wrong.

The trait that causes me or anyone to search out new challenges, to squeeze the marrow out of every situation, to push one’s limits, to always seek opportunity where it doesn’t appear to exist, and yes… to risk breaking a leg – or a bank account, or an ego – is exactly the trait that makes for success in everything. Virtuosos are risk takers and always will be. There’s really no on-off switch. The way you do anything is the way you do everything.

I used to be a whitewater kayaker and my mentor, Bill Clarke once said “if you’re not flipping you’re not learning.” He meant that if you’re pushing yourself to improve, you’re going to flip upside down once in a while. Or in this case, fall… and even break a leg.

But here’s the coolest thing about virtuosos. They find the opportunity even in the “failures” or “setbacks.” I mean, I’ve never been relegated to crutches and forced to sit still with my foot in the air. So, as per my keynote I asked myself, “What if there’s something good about this, what would it be, where’s the opportunity? Aha! I have an extraordinary chance to write! To practice, plan, connect with clients, and do so many of the things I “didn’t have (or make) time for.” And believe me, I’m using it.

So, virtuosos… those who rise to the top 1% of their field, are risk takers. Period. They just are. And the best thing is that it’s a trait which, though it may come naturally, it doesn’t have to. You can develop it.

Last point. Risk taking does not necessarily mean STUPID risk taking. I didn’t head on up to the double black diamond slope. I took a calculated risk. And ironically, it is my failure that reinforced this awesome point about success. Become a risk taker. Or, as they say… break a leg!

A life of excellence begins with taking responsibility.  Right now, declare that from this day forward everything in your life is your responsibility, meaning your present, your future, and even your past.  Almost all of us have had bad things happen, some horrific and completely out of our control.  We can’t choose the family or circumstance to which we’re born.  Yes, that is totally unfair.  However, regardless of whatever has happened, you have two choices: Blame someone else or take responsibility.  Justified or not, blame will ultimately take you down.  The only path to success is to take full responsibility for your life and everything in it.  You can be right, or you can be free.  Victims are absolutely right; but they are not free.  The path to joy, happiness and an excellent life is to completely forgive the past and take full responsibility for your present and future.

So, let’s make two decisions together right now.  Repeat this aloud with me. I advise making it a prayer as well:  “I (your name), from this day forward resolve to be an excellent human being.  I will strive for the optimum, as best I understand it, in every area of my life.  I also take full responsibility for my life – past, present and future – and accept that everything, including my success or failure, is completely in my own hands.”

Done?  Awesome.  Now, CONGRATULATIONS!  You’ve just risen to the top ten percent of people in this world.  Seriously, most people NEVER make this choice.  Most people coast through life, doing the minimum, accepting the status quo, and living what’s been called a life “of quiet desperation.”  Coasting is fine for a time, but it only happens down hill.  But not you.  You aspire to more, and I LOVE that!  Next we’ll flesh out exactly what that means.

Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying. And that is what this blog will be about, though I will likely take this to many tangential issues as well. This one decision will positively effect everything in your life, forever, to the degree to which you embrace it. It will revolutionize your work, your relationships, your income, even your spiritual life. It will change a dull life to one of action and excitement. It will cause people to appreciate and depend on you at work, and your employer to take notice. It will cause your family to wonder about you at first, and then, quite often to follow suit. Your health, energy, and sleep will all very likely improve. You will become an example to those around you. It is the decision that everyone who is truly successful has made, and the very thing that illudes those who complain and never seem to have enough. This decision, simply put, will be transformational.

Are you ready? Here it is: Choose Excellence. Choose to be an excellent human being, to live a life of excellence. As a classically trained guitarist I tend to use music metaphors so I exhort my keynote audiences to, “Become a Virtuoso!” For my purposes it means the same thing and I will use them interchangeably.

You’re not born that way…
So, what do I mean by excellence? Excellence by definition means the quality of being outstanding or extremely good. It means taking the high road, deciding that from this point forward, everything you do in life you do right and to the fullest! You no longer allow shortcuts or taking the easy route just because it’s easier. You decide what is best in every area of your life and set yourself on a path to achieve it. You raise the bar on what you will allow for yourself, regardless of what others do
and/or allow for themselves.

In my humble opinion, because I consider one’s faith as integral to becoming a virtuoso, this is the most important decision you will ever make. I teach a 60-90 minute breakout session on just this subject, called “How To Get To YOUR Carnegie Hall.” Making this decision is the first and most important step to rising to the top one percent of your field, career or industry.

I call it a decision because no one is born excellent, no one becomes a virtuoso by accident. In fact, as my friend, Brian Tracy points out, in the absence of choosing excellence the default is not greatness or even goodness. The default is mediocrity. Exactly every person who’s achieved excellence in anything at some point and in some way made the conscious decision to become that.

So, this blog will be about excellence. How to rise to the top 10%, 3% and even 1% of your field. How to get the most out of life. And as is true of my shows, I’ll most definitely have some fun with it.

We are all capable of far more than we ever knew was possible. Most of us know that, but few know how to access that unrealized potential. I can teach anyone how to do that. That’s not the hard part. The hard part is doing that in front of 5000 people – or 50 – and not boring them to tears, or using godforsaken powerpoint. I mean, if we’re really teaching people how to look at things differently, why do the same old keynote in the same old way: Stiff speaker using graphs and statistics?

So, I use wild guitar and clean, creative comedy. And it WORKS!  I have friends who use juggling, acrobatics, music, dance… The key is to have people laughing and amazed so long they don’t realize until later, “Hey, I’ve learned something, this material works!” I love it because for the rest of the conference or as they leave they’re quoting (and therefore USING) my “What If…?” message.

So, if you want people to truly think bigger, to think differently, to find opportunities where they’re not evident, to become possibility thinkers, use a keynote presenter who exemplifies that in his or her presentation style. Think “outside the box” yourself and maybe your attendees will. And hey, if it’s not me you use, I can give you some names.

This was written in September, 2010, updated this week. My friend from Nashville days, Julie Rust, a fine singer/songwriter, asked me about how I deal with fear. Here’s my response…

“Hey Julie,

You recently asked me about fear and I took my time as I wanted to give you a real and considered response. Here goes…

I think anyone who’s putting something personal into a public forum has some level of fear about it, depending on the item, the forum, and one’s experience with doing that. So, yes, I have fear sometimes.

What I would say is that my level of fear, or nervousness, or anxiety is directly proportional to my comfort with the setting. If it’s a theater, a corporate audience, after dinner entertainment, they’ve had one or two drinks, mostly American’s, 18-70, I’m rarely nervous. I’ve had too many examples of it working and I call on that, I purposefully remember that if I have a doubt.

On the other hand, if it’s, say an urban high school (not that I play many of those), or if I was supposed to write or learn something special for the group and I’m not completely secure with it, or if in some way I feel there’s a potential mis-match between the situation at hand and what I do, or if for any other reason I feel unprepared – like showing up in jeans and a T-shirt for a black tie event – I’m more nervous.

For instance, last year I got to be the first act, the first night of the 7908 Aspen Songwriter’s Festival. John Oates of “Hall and Oates” was putting it on and asked me to do it. During my set we agreed that he would come out and we’d do his Hall and Oates hit, “You Make My Dreams Come True” together. Well, that’s not a hard song for me and I could improvise it on the spot. However, knowing I would be potentially nervous I practiced that sucker like you wouldn’t believe just because… well, it’s John Oates. Good thing I did, because on a whim he brought Sam Bush, probably the best mandolin player alive, out with him and we all played it together. I loved it, but I was a bit nervous about it. The next day John had asked me to do a classical arrangement of Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You” and accompany country singer, Jimmy Wayne in a tribute to the song’s writer, Jeff Barry (and Jeff was there). Again, it was outside my comfort zone and my arrangement would be naked out there, so I knew I’d be nervous. The way I deal with that is to identify the things I’ll probably feel out of place about, and then practice the hell out of them! And it turned out again it was a good thing because I had to coach Jimmy on the words, work with him on the melody, and by the time we rehearsed, a few hours before the show, I knew the damn thing backwards and forwards. That’s my way of dealing with it… be TOTALLY prepared. It also makes for a better performance because when you don’t have to think about the notes, THEN you’re playing music, rather than just regurgitating notes. And for any non-musicians reading this, this is a metaphor for EVERYTHING in life. You learn the notes so you can forget the notes.

The other thing I do to deal with fear is rely on an axiom I came up with a long time ago for just this thing. I used to do gigs for the US Navy in Puerto Rico. One night I was playing in a dark, hard-edged enlisted club with American sailors, CB’s, marines and then enlisted guys and girls from multiple nationalities’ forces (NATO). I have rarely been THAT nervous. They were listening to whatever was hardcore rock and rap at the time, drinking hard, and here I am, folkie-boy with my acoustic guitar. My axiom… really it’s a mantra… was and still is “Do what you do, do it the best way you know how.” Do what YOU do, do it the best way you know how. If they don’t like it, fine, at least I did what I do and that’s all anyone can ask. If I’m gonna bomb, don’t do it trying to be something I’m not. It’s actually my way of letting go of the outcome, which as long as I do what I do the best way I know how, is beyond my control. Control what I can, leave the rest to God.

They turned off the loud dance music and I started singing. Well, early on, either by accident or intuition I happened to play, “Proud To Be An American” (Lee Greenwood). It turns out the Americans had been feeling like a minority in their own club (because they were) and they went NUTS with pride singing with me loudly! Suddenly I was their best friend and after that I could have farted in the microphone and they’d have loved it. I played for hours and had a blast. And that brought some of the internationals on board, too, some of the Brits saying, “You know, WE really need a patriotic song like that.”

Finally, last year I had a morning show at the Benaroya Hall in Seattle for a large group of dentists and their staffs. I flew in the night before and woke up to discover I had my suit and shirt, but no dress shoes, just a pair of white sneakers. Ah!!! The show was early enough that I couldn’t make it to a men’s store in time, Walmart was a long distance away, and I was stuck. Rather than look REALLY stupid and try to borrow shoes from someone – “Excuse me, do you wear size 11 and can I borrow your shoes? Ugh” – I decided to boldly wear those white sneakers with my suit, as if that’s what I’d intended all along, like that’s just “my style.” And I did. And nobody said a thing. It worked. Here’s the kicker. Another speaker there took me aside after the program and actually complimented me on wearing white sneakers with my suit so boldly and being willing to be myself. I laughed, thanked her, and then told her the truth and we both learned a good lesson.

Anyway, that’s what I do to deal with nervousness:

1. Make sure as best I can that it’s not a mis-match.
2. Focus on what I do best.
3. Remember past successes, reminding myself that I am good at what I do.
4. Practice the hell out of whatever I’m not sure of.
5. Go boldly and let go of the outcome beyond what I can control (in other words quit worrying) – just be in and trust the moment.

I hope that helps. It works for me.

Peace,

Mike

There’s a point – I would assume it’s connected with middle age – where you realize, however you got here, whatever has or hasn’t come before, whatever you like or don’t like, this is your life.  This is where you are, this is who you’re with, and by and large these people in your life are the ones you’ll know when you, or they, die.  Though life will certainly progress and relationships, careers and life circumstances can change, by and large this is your tribe.  The ones you can count on now are the ones you can count on from now on, mostly.

I find comfort in that.  I’ve been blessed with being surrounded by 99% great people (and the other 1% are simply not worth wasting my life worrying about – and they know who they are).  Warts and all, I have a great family, fantastic friends and a great career.  Yes, some things, especially me, need improvement, yet while I continue to move passionately toward my goals, there’s really nothing I lack.  I’ll tell almost no one where, how or how much, but I give abundantly of “time, talents, and treasures,” and I will grow in that area as well.  I have my dark moments.  There are things – old things – I am not at peace with and sometimes I lose sleep.  And as much as I implicitly trust God’s stewardship of everything, and though I try hard not to, there are still things that upset me.  But if you take all that crap and multiply it by ten, I still have it great.

Like Joe Walsh said so well, “I can’t complain but sometimes I still do, life’s been good to me so far.”

video link:

http://gallery.me.com/danthurmon/100012/IMG%5F1292

Let me say at the outset, this blog will be an unlikely marriage of my thoughts on guitar, comedy and entertainment; as well as personal development tools and tenets, and occasionally spiritual matters. That’s because my shows, and really my life, are that same unlikely marriage of all of the above. Road stories, rants and ramblings. Like most things I find that you get a basic concept going, launch, and let it take form as it progresses. To that end, here we go…

I talk a lot about the power of goal setting. There is incredible power in simply deciding what you’d like to do or want to happen, writing it down, committing to it and taking action. In fact, my only mistake has been not using this enough. I’ll talk more about how to set goals, secrets of goal achievement and that sort of thing coming up. Today, however, I want to share with you a huge, 35 year goal that came true this past week.

My all-time favorite band is Lynyrd Skynyrd. Always has been, always will be. In the mid 1970’s they released a live album called “One More From The Road.” This was a truly seminal album in my life. That live version of Freebird (no requests, PLEASE), was a huge deal for me as a guitarist. It’s how I learned to play slide, and Allen Collins’ amazing solo at the end was how I learned to play faster than basic eighth notes.

Anyway, it was recorded at the Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta, GA, and I swore someday I would play the Fabulous Fox Theater. That was that, I just would. This was an absolutely unreasonable, crazy goal. Later, in my first year of college at Western Carolina University, my English 101 professor had us write our own eulogy (weird assignment). I wrote that I had died on stage at the Fox Theater. So, you get the idea, playing the Fox was a big deal to me.

So, though I didn’t think of it in this context at the time, I had set a goal. A POWERFUL goal. One I REALLY wanted. Had I listened to and heeded my father’s fears and warnings, not to mention countless other naysayers, I’d have gone on to some other career that was “safe” and “secure,” or “reasonable.” (Tell me, is ANY career safe and secure?) and my goal would have remained a pipe dream. But I didn’t, and I have only God to thank because, I really don’t know what possessed me. That first year of college – while studying to be a shop teacher, no less – I made what was probably my first adult decision. I decided that I had to go for a music career all the way… or not at all. I could live with trying and not making it or not being good enough. I couldn’t live with not trying and not knowing. So I transferred to James Madison University to study classical guitar and music business, and never looked back.

Fast forward 30 years… My career has gone better, albeit quite differently, than I could have ever imagined. Probably 85% of my shows are these really cool corporate and association functions. My best client, Wells Fargo Advisors (the financial management side, not the bank) has a series of events called Second Half Champions, where they honor 3 people in a given city who’ve done something amazing after the age of 50, and then I close the evening with a hybrid of my keynote and entertainment shows. I LOVE these events.

A few months ago, Laura, from WF, called and said that their February event in Atlanta would be at some place they found called “The Fabulous Fox Theater.” My jaw dropped.

Tuesday night, Feb 15, 2011 that dream (or goal) came true! It was a crowd of about 2500 and the hall was amazing. A number of great friends, both old and new, came to the event to support me and be a part of it. I did my show, had a BLAST with the audience, and the evening was topped off with a standing ovation. I am humbled and thankful for ALL of this. (Very special thanks to my Atlanta friends Dan Thurmon, Seegar, Miki, Cathy and Tommy; my HS friends Leigh, Lisa, and Brian; and NSA Atlanta for supporting me).

So, would this have happened had I not set that goal? Maybe. Or maybe not. But I’ll tell you, playing Carnegie Hall, the Fox Theater, getting my own show in Las Vegas, and countless other humbling events were all totally unlikely, totally unreasonable, but they happened, after my setting a goal. I’m thankful beyond measure, and I’m a believer. Like I said, my only mistake has been not using this enough.

Oh, one other thing… goal achievement feels great! Every time I think about that night at the Fox, as well as many other things that have happened in my career, I get this stupid grin and I just laugh to myself in some combination of joy and amazement at all God has in store for us.

Points to remember:

1. Life is short, set big goals.

2. The difference in a dream and a goal is a plan. Make a plan.

3. Fears are valid, but NOT a good basis for major life decisions.

4. Quit being reasonable. Very few of the great things that happen in life are reasonable.